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WTF: Austrian Man Wins Right To Wear Pasta Strainer In License Photo

May 23rd, 2013 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

BBC – Niko Alm first applied for the licence three years ago after reading that headgear was allowed in official pictures only for confessional reasons.

Mr Alm said the sieve was a requirement of his religion, pastafarianism.

Later a police spokesman explained that the licence was issued because Mr Alm’s face was fully visible in the photo.

“The photo was not approved on religious grounds. The only criterion for photos in driving licence applications is that the whole face must be visible,” said Manfred Reinthaler, a police spokesman in Vienna.

He was speaking on Wednesday, after Austrian media had first reported Mr Alm’s reason for wearing the pasta strainer.

After receiving his application the Austrian authorities had required him to obtain a doctor’s certificate that he was “psychologically fit” to drive.

(READ MORE)

Copyright © 2004-2013 ABORT Magazine. All Rights Reserved. Reproduction of this publication, in whole or in part, in any form or medium without express written permission from Abort Media Publishing Corporation (AMP Corp.) is prohibited. All use is subject to our Terms of Use.

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WTF: Swedish Man dies after making love to hornets nest

May 15th, 2013 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

ABCnow – YSTAD, Sweden — A man has died after reportedly having sex with a hornet’s nest.

Swedish newspaper Nyheterna Sverige reports that the 35-year-old man, who goes by “Hasse,” was found swollen and unconscious by his neighbor lying on the ground. The neighbor, Bertil Ståhfrääs, said he initially thought the body was a whale carcass because of the swelling.

“I walked up to the body and then I recognized his tattoo on his neck, representing a little angel who is rocking. I have never in my life seen such a swollen pelvic bone,” Ståhfrääs.

According to the newspaper report, Hasse had 146 stings on his body, including 54 on the genitals.

An autopsy revealed that Hasse had been having sex with the hornet’s nest.

(READ MORE)

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As I Lay Dying Vocalist Tim Lambesis Charged With Attempting to Hire a Hit Man to Kill Wife

May 7th, 2013 Filed under: WTF? by MetalEditor

(Photo – Matthias ‘Mattness’ Bauer)

(Blabbermouth.net) – Jan Caldwell, spokeswoman for the San Diego County Sheriff’s Department, spoke earlier this evening (Tuesday, May 7) to Artisan News about AS I LAY DYING singer Tim Lambesis’ arrest for allegedly hiring someone to kill his estranged wife.

Lambesis, 32, was taken into custody without incident on Tuesday (May 7) around 2 p.m. at an Oceanside business, according to San Diego Sheriff’s Department.

He was charged with solicitation of another to commit murder of his wife, who resides in Encinitas.

“Information came to us late last week — last Thursday, to be specific — that Lambesis was soliciting another individual to kill his estranged wife, who also resides in the area,” Caldwell said (hear audio below). “Our detectives, our fugitive task force and the sheriff’s special investigations division immediately initiated an investigation into this allegation. We worked around the clock through the weekend and that culminated this afternoon when Lambesis solicited an undercover detective to kill his wife.”

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WTF?: Wanted Man Arrested After Unwittingly Wearing T-Shirt with the Word ‘Wanted’ on It

March 22nd, 2013 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

A wanted man from Taiwan was arrested after a police officer noticed the giant English word “Wanted” on the front of his shirt. The man, identified only as Wu, neither read nor spoke English, so he had no idea what he’d been advertising on his tee. The cop, however, had taken an elementary English course and approached Wu to ask him about it. After typing Wu’s name into the computer, his fugitive status for drug abuse was revealed. Wu said that he wouldn’t have worn the shirt if he’d know what the word meant and that the incriminating garment had been a gift from his son. Maybe next time he’ll get an English dictionary.

(MSN TODAY)

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WTF: Go home mom, you’re drunk

March 5th, 2013 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

JONESBORO, Arkansas (KTLA) — A 28-year-old woman is facing criminal charges after allegedly trying to flee the scene of a car crash in her son’s battery operated toy truck.

Police say Jamie Craft was drunk when she crashed her Grand Am into the side of a mobile home.

Witness say Craft got out of the car and jumped on to Power Wheels truck and sped off.

According to police, Craft was pretty irate when they caught up with her as well as being without any pants.

They say she was also very drunk, with a blood alcohol level of .217, which is 3 times the legal limit.

Craft is facing charges ranging from disorderly conduct to driving with a suspended license.

(READ MORE)

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WTF: New Zealand woman’s 2010 death attributed to “two gallons a day” Coke habit

February 13th, 2013 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(Yahoo) – For all the debate recently about the relative health merits (or, really, complete lack thereof) of soft drinks, even the soda industry’s most ardent critics probably never expected this: A coroner in New Zealand has ruled that Coke, in fact, kills.

The verdict culminates an almost three-year investigation into the death of Natasha Harris, a 31-year-old mother of eight who lived in Invercargill on the South Island of New Zealand. As we previously reported, Harris supposedly drank more than two gallons—yes, gallons—of Coke a day.

Harris’ mother-in-law testified at the coroner’s inquest last year that Harris was a bona fide Coke fiend and that she would “go crazy if she ran out…she would get the shakes, withdrawal symptoms, be angry, on edge and snappy.”

Oh, and Harris also smoked upwards of 30 cigarettes a day.

Given that she was drinking the equivalent of more than two pounds of sugar seven days a week, it’s not surprising that Harris had to have a number of teeth removed. The whole case takes on an even creepier Rosemary’s Baby-meets-Big Gulp vibe when you consider that one of her kids was born without tooth enamel. (!!!)

Then, in a tragicomic end to her addiction, Harris was found “slumped on the toilet, gasping for air” in late February 2010 by her partner, Christopher Hodgkinson, according to Global Post. Her immediate cause of death was listed as cardiac arrhythmia, likely owing to her daily caffeine intake, which was twice the recommended limit. An autopsy revealed that Harris also had an enlarged liver riddled with fat deposits, symptomatic of excessive sugar consumption.

Coroner David Crerar concluded that, “when all the evidence is considered, were it not for the consumption of very large quantities of Coke by Natasha Harris, it is unlikely that she would have died when she died and how she died.” However, the coroner went to pains to absolve the drink maker itself: “Coca-Cola cannot be held responsible for the health of consumers who drink unhealthy quantities of the product…Natasha Harris knew, or ought of have known and recognized, the health hazard of her chosen diet and lifestyle.”

(READ MORE)

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WTF: No pussy in the strip club, Sir

February 12th, 2013 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(Elite Daily) – Some people just really love their cats. On Tuesday, Everett Lages took his cat love to a new level when he brought his cat to Emerald City strip club in Murdock, FL. Lages was arrested for repeatedly calling 911 after the owner prohibited him from entering the strip club with his cat, according to a Charlotte County Sheriff’s press release.

When Emerald City’s owner told the 47-year-old man to leave, he sat down outside and called the cops. When the police arrived, Lages appeared intoxicated, prompting authorities to call him a taxi.

Lages refused to tell the cab driver where he lived. Instead of going home, he kept calling 911 despite the police presence at the scene. Police then arrested Lages.

Lages was charged with misuse of the 911 system, disorderly intoxication, trespassing after warning, and resisting arrest without violence.

(READ MORE)

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WTF?!: Sir Paul McCartney channels spirit of Kurt Cobain for 12/12/12 Nirvana “Reunion”

December 11th, 2012 Filed under: News/Calendar/Industry, WTF? by Editor in Chief

(The Sun) – The sensational gig will see the surviving members of the grunge band together for the first time in 20 years.

And former Beatle Sir Paul will sing with them as they play a new song at a star-filled charity concert in New York.

Paul, 70, has been secretly working with Foo Fighters singer Dave Grohl and bassist Krist Novoselic after a recent session at a studio. The pair were founding members of Nirvana along with Cobain, who committed suicide in 1994.

(READ MORE)

Copyright © 2004-2012 ABORT Magazine. All Rights Reserved. Reproduction of this publication, in whole or in part, in any form or medium without express written permission from Abort Media Publishing Corporation (AMP Corp.) is prohibited. All use is subject to our Terms of Use.

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WTF?! – O.J. Simpson “Secretly” Selling ‘Murder Knife’

October 19th, 2012 Filed under: News/Calendar/Industry, WTF? by MetalEditor

(Torontosun.com) O.J. Simpson is secretly selling the knife used to kill his former wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman, according to a report from the National Enquirer.

According to a source the newspaper is quoting, Simpson is asking $5 million.

“(O.J. is) looking for a strictly cash deal so that the money can be deposited in offshore accounts and can’t be traced directly to him,” the National Enquirer reported a source close to the ex-football star and actor told the paper.

Simpson has long denied owning the knife, having been found not guilty of the murders of Goldman and his wife, who were slashed to death outside Nicole’s Los Angeles home on June 12, 1994. His “trial of the century” was one of the most sensational in U.S. history.

(READ MORE)

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Responsible, Middle-Class Toronto couple refused apartment for being metal fans

August 2nd, 2012 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(Photo: Promotional)

(Classic Rock Magazine) – A married couple were refused an apartment in Toronto after the landlord discovered the husband played in a heavy metal band.

Mike and Lara Crossley had reached a verbal agreement with the property owner, named Suzanne. But she changed her mind after researching Mike online and discovering he played bass in Canadian outfit Vilipend.

In an email Suzanne told them: “We were quite ready to make a decision in your favour the other night. However, upon investigation of the band Vilipend, it has brought forward some concerns for us.

“We are uncomfortable with the energy that this music manifests.”

Mike Crossley says he was happy to tell Suzanne about his musical interests in the spirit of honesty – but he didn’t expect to be “so poorly misjudged” after doing so.

And he believes the situation highlights potentially worse experiences for others who hope to rent accommodation.

He tells Classic Rock: “The point is not that a couple of twenty-somethings missed out on a decent apartment. If Lara and I were discriminated against as a dual full-time income, caucasian, middle-class, heterosexual couple with good references and credit checks, imagine the difficult somebody who doesn’t have those advantages must experience.”

(READ MORE)

UPDATE: Vilipend have released an official statement HERE

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Snoop Dogg updates operating system to OSX Snoop Lion

July 31st, 2012 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(CLICK TO ENLARGE)

(NYTimes) – Just call him Snoop Lion.

Snoop Dogg, the veteran West Coast rapper, says he underwent a spiritual and artistic rebirth while making a new album in Jamaica last February. He abandoned rap as his preferred mode of expression, wrote more than a dozen songs in a traditional reggae style and opened up to a documentary film crew about his long and sometimes violent journey from teenage gang member to a middle-aged hip-hop superstar. Along the way, he says, he shed the name and persona of Snoop Dogg and was rechristened Snoop Lion by Rastafarian priests.

“I have always said I was Bob Marley reincarnated,” Snoop told a crowd of reporters at a news conference at Miss Lily’s, a Caribbean restaurant in New York. He added: “I feel I have always been a Rastafari. I just didn’t have my third eye open, but it’s wide open right now.”

The news conference was to release the first single from the album “Reincarnated,” which was written and recorded over three weeks in Jamaica.

Wearing a Rasta knit cap, sunglasses and a Kobe Bryant jersey, Snoop held forth about positivity, good vibrations and being “called by the spirit” to begin singing reggae. Now that he had reached the midpoint of his life – he turned 40 last year — he said he wanted to renounce violence and write in the reggae genre, which he called “music of love.” The new songs, he said, might give him “a chance to perform for kids and grandkids,” something he felt his work as a rapper would not let him do.

Snoop described his decision to do the album as a spiritual revelation, but others involved in the project said it was, in fact, carefully planned and executed.

(READ MORE)

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WTF?! – Mass media do what they do best, turn a simple comment from Deadmau5 into earth shattering news

July 9th, 2012 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

Mouse-headed DJ Deadmau5 posted to facebook late Sunday evening that his mothers house had been broken in to and trashed. Mau5 posted the news making some comments meant to blow off steam, and referencing internet meme Antoine Dobson; “Anthony Dodkins unavailable for comment, but yeah… mau5 is gunna find you.” to which fans offered their support.

Literally overnight, mass media, including Vancouver’s own soon to be out of print news source are reporting on the VENGEFUL THREATS the popular DJ callously threw out in defense of his mothers home. Outspoken as he is, Joel Zimmerman, the man behind the Mau5 had the following to say in two separate posts today:

Facebook:

[...]The end bit is a joke in reference to the whole bedroom intruder thing with Antoine Dodson. you [media] are dumb… you are really really dumb…. allthough the house really did get broken into and trashed, which sucks.. but the police are doing what they can obviously. get off my balls, press.

Tumblr:

alright, alright already!

http://www.google.ca/search?q=deadmau5+burglary

holy crap… slow ass news day in the world today?

anyways… I posted because, well shit, I’m human, and I was just upset someone broke into my moms house, thats all. no I’m not on a mission to find anyone, thats the police’s job, and I’m sure they’re doing whatever they can.

One can only hope the media doesn’t now try to link mau5′s comments to Tom Cruise, Suri, or Scientology.

By: Sofia Beth Dixon

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WTF: Lamb of God frontman Randy Blythe arrested in Prague for manslaughter in 2010 incident

June 29th, 2012 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(Photo- Scott Alexander)

(Blabbermouth) – According to the Czech news web site Novinky, vocalist Randy Blythe of Richmond, Virginia metallers LAMB OF GOD was arrested earlier today (Thursday, June 28) in the Czech Republic and charged with manslaughter over an incident that happened more than two years ago.

Blythe, 41, reportedly got into an altercation with a fan who had come on stage during the band’s show at the Prague club Abaton in May 2010 and the fan later died of his injuries.

After the 2010 incident, those who know the band heard the intruder may have been struck with a microphone before the security team forced him from the stage, reports Richmond’s TV station CBS-6.

When LAMB OF GOD arrived on Thursday to play a show at the Rock Café in Prague with SKELETONWITCH and ALL SHALL PERISH, the local police brought the musician in for questioning. LAMB OF GOD’s appearance at the venue was canceled later in the day.

LAMB OF GOD’s representatives have said that Blythe is wrongly accused and that they expect him to be fully exonerated.

Randy’s brother, Mark Blythe, told CBS-6 that he’s awaiting further details and said the charge is “bogus and outrageous and will be dropped immediately.”

Shortly after 9 p.m. EST, the #freerandyblythe hash tag was posted on the @lambofgodband Twitter account (which is run by a fan and not the bandmembers themselves).

(READ MORE)

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WTF?! – A paranoid Madonna reportedly requires her DNA to be removed from dressing rooms after use

June 26th, 2012 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(Photo – Scott Alexander)

(Mirror.co.uk) – If Madonna fans had any crazy notion of nicking some of her DNA from her dressing room, bad luck…

The paranoid star, 53, has ordered aides to leave no trace of her after she leaves gigs on her latest world tour.

In true diva style she set up a “sterilisation team” to wipe away any DNA that may have been dropped in her room on hairs, skin or saliva.

(READ MORE)

(Editors note: Ten bucks Madge has been cast as an aged Uma Thurman in a 2013 sequel to Gattaca, and is taking character acting to all sorts of crazy levels.)

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WTF: Woman looking for man who knocked her up to the smooth sensual beats of Motorhead and/or Megadeth

April 18th, 2012 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(Photo – Scott Alexander)

In a post entitled, “Did we hook up at the Megadeth/Motorhead concert? – w4m – 28 (Aragon Ballroom),” an anonymous woman wrote the following post, which is reproduced here in its entirety:

“Me: Blue hair, silver tube top, fishnets, Knee high black biker boots.
You: Red mohawk, black pentagram gauges, viper piercings.

I was grinding on you in the pit, then we went to the bathroom, and got f***ed up. You had a nice c**k and I was wasted so I let [you] raw dog it in the stall. You were really good and you had to gag me so I would[n't] make too much noise.

(Please note: The Craigslist Chicago entry is currently being flagged for removal, so is not included in this post. What kind of heartless person would flag this is beyond me, such a sweet story, after all)

Click here for our EXCLUSIVE interview with Lemmy Kilmister.

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WTF: China censors Kate Winslet’s breasts for fears moviegoers will have a less than optimal viewing experience

April 13th, 2012 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(Shanghaiist) – Chinese moviegoers hoping to catch the re-release of Titanic in 3D won’t get to see two very important characters from the 1997 Hollywood blockbuster: Kate Winslet’s boobs.

The reason? Government officials don’t want viewers trying to reach out and grab for the screen during an, ahem, peak scene. Seriously.

Says an official at the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television:

“Considering the vivid 3D effects, we fear that viewers may reach out their hands for a touch and thus interrupt other people’s viewing. To avoid potential conflicts between viewers and out of consideration of building a harmonious ethical social environment, we’ve decided to cut off the nudity scenes”

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WTF: Gunfire errupts at a second Young Jeezy concert this week

April 6th, 2012 Filed under: News/Calendar/Industry, WTF? by Editor in Chief

Photo: J Blue (Wikipedia)

(The Star) Gunfire erupted at two Ontario shows by rapper Young Jeezy this week, forcing the cancellation of a show in Montreal on Friday night.

Another shooting has rocked a Young Jeezy concert — this time in London, Ont., sending two men to hospital.

Shots rang out in London Music Hall around 11:30 p.m. Thursday night, shortly before the rapper was supposed to take the stage.

Two men were taken to hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.

London police are continuing their investigation and have not yet made any arrests.

Toronto police are still investigating a shooting at Jeezy’s Toronto concert hours earlier.

A 26-year-old man was shot three times in the torso at the sold out concert at Sound Academy. The shooting happened around 12:30 a.m. Thursday, between the opening act and Jeezy’s headlining show.

(READ MORE)

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Naughty but Nice sex show pulls-out of Abbotsford, in the face of Christian fundamentalist criticism.

February 12th, 2012 Filed under: News/Calendar/Industry, WTF? by Editor in Chief

Photo: Scott Alexander

(In a related news story, boxes of tissues at an overstocked abbotsford drug store go on sale buy one get four free -Editor)

(CTVbc.ca) Organizers of the Taboo Naughty But Nice Show decided to cancel its visit to Abbotsford’s Tradex on Thursday after opposition from the Christian community and restrictive liquor rules.

Dubbed Western Canada’s largest adult trade show, the annual event features educational seminars, sex toy shopping, fashion shows and live demonstrations.

Former Abbotsford mayoral candidate Gerda Peachey was happily stunned when Canwest Productions called off the sex show scheduled to begin at the end of March. For months, she had been speaking out against the event because of religious reasons.

“That Taboo Naughty But Nice sex show is a perversion; it’s a distortion of what the man-woman relationship is to be,” Peachey told CTV News.

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WTF? – Drake sets out on headlining tour of Woman’s face

December 10th, 2011 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(Vice Magazine) – You know a tattoo is truly great when half the people you show it to screw their faces up and look like they’re about to keel over and puke, and the other half flat-out cry “fake”. If, like me, you’re a hip-hop nerd you’ll no doubt have seen the photo of a freshly inked DRAKE forehead tattoo that went viral on the rap interwebs this past Tuesday. Now you may cringe in disgust at the very idea of someone so clearly insane being allowed to get this done, but to me, this is just another raw and swollen step towards the day T.O. is officially on the rap map, and so fucking what if it takes a sweater-wearing ex-Degrassi kid from the wealthy Forest Hill suburb to do it? I don’t care who it is. It’s about damn time any Toronto rapper gets tattooed on someone’s face.

WTF? – Goths Rejoice!: America’s first vampire bat death confirmed

August 15th, 2011 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

“Try ‘em grilled!. Always a bloody good treat.”

(NYDailyNews) – A Mexican farm worker bitten by a vampire bat last year was the first person in the U.S. to die from a vampire bat rabies virus, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced.

The rabid bat bit the 19-year-old man in Mexico last July 10 days before he came to the U.S. to work on a sugar cane farm in Louisiana, the CDC said.

He died at a hospital in New Orleans on Aug. 21, 2010, after battling brain swelling and severe fever brought on by an aggressive case of the infection, doctors said. “This case represents the first reported human death from a vampire bat rabies virus variant in the United States,” said the CDC announced in a report on Friday.

Vampire bats are only found in Latin America and are the leading cause of rabies there. But the CDC fears the winged vermin may be headed for the U.S.
“Research suggests the range of these bats might be expanding as a result of changes in climate,” the report said.

ABORT Magazine™

WTF: Austrian Man Wins Right To Wear Pasta Strainer In License Photo

WTF: Swedish Man dies after making love to hornets nest

As I Lay Dying Vocalist Tim Lambesis Charged With Attempting to Hire a Hit Man to Kill Wife

WTF?: Wanted Man Arrested After Unwittingly Wearing T-Shirt with the Word ‘Wanted’ on It

WTF: Go home mom, you’re drunk

WTF: New Zealand woman’s 2010 death attributed to “two gallons a day” Coke habit

WTF: No pussy in the strip club, Sir

WTF?!: Sir Paul McCartney channels spirit of Kurt Cobain for 12/12/12 Nirvana “Reunion”

WTF?! – O.J. Simpson “Secretly” Selling ‘Murder Knife’

Responsible, Middle-Class Toronto couple refused apartment for being metal fans

Snoop Dogg updates operating system to OSX Snoop Lion

WTF?! – Mass media do what they do best, turn a simple comment from Deadmau5 into earth shattering news

WTF: Lamb of God frontman Randy Blythe arrested in Prague for manslaughter in 2010 incident

WTF?! – A paranoid Madonna reportedly requires her DNA to be removed from dressing rooms after use

WTF: Woman looking for man who knocked her up to the smooth sensual beats of Motorhead and/or Megadeth

WTF: China censors Kate Winslet’s breasts for fears moviegoers will have a less than optimal viewing experience

WTF: Gunfire errupts at a second Young Jeezy concert this week

Naughty but Nice sex show pulls-out of Abbotsford, in the face of Christian fundamentalist criticism.

WTF? – Drake sets out on headlining tour of Woman’s face

WTF? – Goths Rejoice!: America’s first vampire bat death confirmed

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