ABORT Magazine™

WTF: Woman looking for man who knocked her up to the smooth sensual beats of Motorhead and/or Megadeth

April 18th, 2012 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(Photo – Scott Alexander)

In a post entitled, “Did we hook up at the Megadeth/Motorhead concert? – w4m – 28 (Aragon Ballroom),” an anonymous woman wrote the following post, which is reproduced here in its entirety:

“Me: Blue hair, silver tube top, fishnets, Knee high black biker boots.
You: Red mohawk, black pentagram gauges, viper piercings.

I was grinding on you in the pit, then we went to the bathroom, and got f***ed up. You had a nice c**k and I was wasted so I let [you] raw dog it in the stall. You were really good and you had to gag me so I would[n't] make too much noise.

(Please note: The Craigslist Chicago entry is currently being flagged for removal, so is not included in this post. What kind of heartless person would flag this is beyond me, such a sweet story, after all)

Click here for our EXCLUSIVE interview with Lemmy Kilmister.

Copyright © 2004-2012 ABORT Magazine. All Rights Reserved. Reproduction of this publication, in whole or in part, in any form or medium without express written permission from Abort Media Publishing Corporation (AMP Corp.) is prohibited. All use is subject to our Terms of Use.
Anyway I’m pregnant. It’s yours. contact me if you want to be part of your child’s life.”

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WTF: China censors Kate Winslet’s breasts for fears moviegoers will have a less than optimal viewing experience

April 13th, 2012 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(Shanghaiist) – Chinese moviegoers hoping to catch the re-release of Titanic in 3D won’t get to see two very important characters from the 1997 Hollywood blockbuster: Kate Winslet’s boobs.

The reason? Government officials don’t want viewers trying to reach out and grab for the screen during an, ahem, peak scene. Seriously.

Says an official at the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television:

“Considering the vivid 3D effects, we fear that viewers may reach out their hands for a touch and thus interrupt other people’s viewing. To avoid potential conflicts between viewers and out of consideration of building a harmonious ethical social environment, we’ve decided to cut off the nudity scenes”

READ MORE

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WTF: Gunfire errupts at a second Young Jeezy concert this week

April 6th, 2012 Filed under: News/Calendar/Industry, WTF? by Editor in Chief

Photo: J Blue (Wikipedia)

(The Star) Gunfire erupted at two Ontario shows by rapper Young Jeezy this week, forcing the cancellation of a show in Montreal on Friday night.

Another shooting has rocked a Young Jeezy concert — this time in London, Ont., sending two men to hospital.

Shots rang out in London Music Hall around 11:30 p.m. Thursday night, shortly before the rapper was supposed to take the stage.

Two men were taken to hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.

London police are continuing their investigation and have not yet made any arrests.

Toronto police are still investigating a shooting at Jeezy’s Toronto concert hours earlier.

A 26-year-old man was shot three times in the torso at the sold out concert at Sound Academy. The shooting happened around 12:30 a.m. Thursday, between the opening act and Jeezy’s headlining show.

(READ MORE)

Copyright © 2004-2012 ABORT Magazine. All Rights Reserved. Reproduction of this publication, in whole or in part, in any form or medium without express written permission from Abort Media Publishing Corporation (AMP Corp.) is prohibited. All use is subject to our Terms of Use.

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Naughty but Nice sex show pulls-out of Abbotsford, in the face of Christian fundamentalist criticism.

February 12th, 2012 Filed under: News/Calendar/Industry, WTF? by Editor in Chief

Photo: Scott Alexander

(In a related news story, boxes of tissues at an overstocked abbotsford drug store go on sale buy one get four free -Editor)

(CTVbc.ca) Organizers of the Taboo Naughty But Nice Show decided to cancel its visit to Abbotsford’s Tradex on Thursday after opposition from the Christian community and restrictive liquor rules.

Dubbed Western Canada’s largest adult trade show, the annual event features educational seminars, sex toy shopping, fashion shows and live demonstrations.

Former Abbotsford mayoral candidate Gerda Peachey was happily stunned when Canwest Productions called off the sex show scheduled to begin at the end of March. For months, she had been speaking out against the event because of religious reasons.

“That Taboo Naughty But Nice sex show is a perversion; it’s a distortion of what the man-woman relationship is to be,” Peachey told CTV News.

READ MORE

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WTF? – Drake sets out on headlining tour of Woman’s face

December 10th, 2011 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(Vice Magazine) – You know a tattoo is truly great when half the people you show it to screw their faces up and look like they’re about to keel over and puke, and the other half flat-out cry “fake”. If, like me, you’re a hip-hop nerd you’ll no doubt have seen the photo of a freshly inked DRAKE forehead tattoo that went viral on the rap interwebs this past Tuesday. Now you may cringe in disgust at the very idea of someone so clearly insane being allowed to get this done, but to me, this is just another raw and swollen step towards the day T.O. is officially on the rap map, and so fucking what if it takes a sweater-wearing ex-Degrassi kid from the wealthy Forest Hill suburb to do it? I don’t care who it is. It’s about damn time any Toronto rapper gets tattooed on someone’s face.

READ MORE HERE

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WTF? – Goths Rejoice!: America’s first vampire bat death confirmed

August 15th, 2011 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

“Try ‘em grilled!. Always a bloody good treat.”

(NYDailyNews) – A Mexican farm worker bitten by a vampire bat last year was the first person in the U.S. to die from a vampire bat rabies virus, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced.

The rabid bat bit the 19-year-old man in Mexico last July 10 days before he came to the U.S. to work on a sugar cane farm in Louisiana, the CDC said.

He died at a hospital in New Orleans on Aug. 21, 2010, after battling brain swelling and severe fever brought on by an aggressive case of the infection, doctors said. “This case represents the first reported human death from a vampire bat rabies virus variant in the United States,” said the CDC announced in a report on Friday.

Vampire bats are only found in Latin America and are the leading cause of rabies there. But the CDC fears the winged vermin may be headed for the U.S.
“Research suggests the range of these bats might be expanding as a result of changes in climate,” the report said.

READ MORE HERE

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WTF?: City seeks investigation into methadone kickback charges

July 9th, 2011 Filed under: News/Calendar/Industry, WTF? by Editor in Chief

(Vancouver Sun) – Three years ago, after allegations that some Downtown Eastside pharmacies were giving kickbacks to methadone patients, the provincial government promised to make changes.
The health minister at the time, George Abbott, said his government was investigating and wanted to stop the underground practice of pharmacies offering money to methadone patients for bringing them their prescriptions. He said he wanted charges laid.

But even with the closure of several pharmacies at the centre of the allegations, the kickback practice has not stopped, leading Vancouver city council to take the extraordinary action of asking for a special investigation into the problem.

And they want to know why former pharmacist George Wolsey, who was at the centre of the allegations three years ago and relinquished his pharmacist’s credentials, is alleged to still be involved in methadone distribution.

READ MORE HERE

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WTF?: Motorcycle rider in New York dies during ride protesting helmet laws

July 3rd, 2011 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(NY Daily News) – A biker in upstate New York who was participating in a ride to protest helmet laws died after he crashed his motorcycle and hit his head, authorities said.
Philip A. Contos, 55, was killed on Saturday afternoon during a ride in Onondaga when his 1983 Harley skidded out of control and he flipped over the handlebars, the Post-Standard reported.

Contos was riding in a “helmet protest run” with a group organized by American Bikers Aimed Towards Education, authorities said.

READ MORE HERE

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Aspiring Rapper on Light Pole Stops Times Square Traffic

June 29th, 2011 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(Photo – Earl Wilson/The NY Times)

He sat. He rapped. He handed police officers his demo tape.

(NY Times) – For nearly two hours on Tuesday morning, a man held court atop the traffic-light apparatus on 44th Street and Seventh Avenue, attracting a camera-wielding crowd and closing down three blocks of traffic in the middle of Times Square.

At 11:12 a.m., the man climbed down a small ladder onto the roof of a police vehicle, where four officers in hard hats were waiting to handcuff him. By 11:35 a.m., the throngs had been dispersed, and the streets re-opened. The police identified the climber as Raymond Velasquez, 34, of Sea Gate, Brooklyn.
Dressed in baggy gray shorts and a flat-brimmed black hat, Mr. Velasquez climbed the pole, roughly 25 feet tall, shortly after 9:15 a.m., according to witnesses. Once he reached the top, he supported himself on two small struts attached to the traffic light, above the sidewalk.

“He just kicked back like he was in a lawn chair,” said Carlos Hambrick, 34, from Jersey City. “Then he got bored and starting doing pull-ups on the beams.”

READ MORE HERE

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Hatchet II Pulled from US & Canadian Theaters. Bleeding Goes On Unchecked.

October 6th, 2010 Filed under: News/Calendar/Industry, WTF? by Editor in Chief

(Source – Firstshowing.net)

More trouble for the horror genre. After playing for one weekend, AMC has decided to pull Adam Green’s Hatchet II from its theaters, following a Canadian pull as well. It was announced a few months ago that an unrated version of Green’s sequel would play in about 60 AMC theaters starting on October 1st. The news is coming from a few sources and has been confirmed by Adam Green via Twitter, where he stated simply: “To those asking: Yes, Hatchet II UNRATED has been pulled from US theaters. Press release coming tomorrow when we have the full details.” So what happened? Bad box office? Or other problems?

As far as we know, there is no officially confirmed reason why this happened, but a statement from AMC published at EW.com seems to indicate they wanted to test the release this weekend, as unrated (basically NC-17) movies are rarely shown in theaters; this was the widest unrated opening in 25 years. Apparently Hatchet II’s mediocre box office (~$50,000) played into it quite a bit, but I also assume there were probably a lot of complains, as that’s all it takes to push over a theater chain these days (just complain – that’s how the Paranormal Activity 2 trailer got pulled). That seems to be all we know about why this happened for now.

The MPAA initially refused to give Hatchet II an R-rating, so AMC agreed to run the unrated version. In the original announcmeent, AMC’s VP said: “Bringing a story like Hatchet II to our guests is a natural fit during this time of year and we’re excited to share the filmmakers’ vision on-screen in its intended state.” It’s very interesting to see them overturn this so quickly.

HATCHET II Website

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WTF? – Lil Wayne Busted In Jail For Having a Loaded IPod.

October 5th, 2010 Filed under: News/Calendar/Industry, WTF? by Editor in Chief

“Any dangerous weapons or Taylor Swift songs on your iPod sir?”

(Source – Associated Press)

NEW YORK – Lil Wayne  is facing the music after being accused of breaking jail rules by having gear for listening to tunes: He can expect to go solo for the rest of his time behind bars in a gun case.

The Grammy Award-winning rapper was moved Monday into what city jail officials call “punitive segregation” for a month, until his expected November release date, Correction Department spokesman Stephen Morello said. It’s his punishment for stashing a charger and headphones for a digital music player in his cell earlier this year, officials said.

Lil Wayne generally will now be confined to his new cell 23 hours a day, with such exceptions as visits and showers, instead of being allowed to mingle with other inmates most of the day. He’ll eat in his cell and won’t get to socialize even during his hour a day of recreation, Morello said.

Lil Wayne also will have to forego TV, and he’ll be limited to one phone call a week instead of a chat a day or more, except for calls to his lawyer, Morello said.

The lawyer, Stacey Richman, had no immediate comment.

The 28-year-old rapper, one of the genre’s biggest stars, has been held since March in the Rikers Island jail complex. He pleaded guilty in October 2009 to attempted criminal possession of a weapon, admitting he had a loaded semiautomatic gun on his bus in 2007.

He got a one-year sentence but is expected to serve eight months because of time off for good behavior, despite the music-player gear episode.

Officials said the headphones and charger were found in May, tucked in a potato chip bag in a garbage can in the rapper’s cell.

The items are considered contraband, as inmates can listen to music only on radios and headphones sold at the jail commissary. Officers said the music player itself turned up in another inmate’s nearby cell.

Both men were charged with infractions that weren’t crimes and were subject to a jail disciplinary process, not a court. Information on the other inmate’s punishment wasn’t immediately available Monday.

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R.I.P. – Segway Boss Jimi Heselden Dies in Scooter Cliff Fall.

September 27th, 2010 Filed under: R.I.P., WTF? by Editor in Chief

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WTF?: Record Breaking Beer Shipped in Woodland Creatures. Bambi is Pissed!

July 26th, 2010 Filed under: News/Calendar/Industry, WTF? by Editor in Chief

(LONDON – AFP)

The strongest and most expensive beer ever created sold out within hours Friday, a Scottish brewery said, as they courted controversy by packaging the bottles inside the bodies of stuffed animals.

BrewDog, the self-described maverick brewery, presented the beer — which contains a record 55 percent alcohol — inside the bodies of dead squirrels and stoats.

Animal rights activists rushed to condemn the stunt.

“It’s pointless and it’s very negative to use dead animals when we should be celebrating live animals,” Advocates for Animals policy director Libby Anderson told BBC Scotland.

“This seems to be a perverse idea.”

BrewDog said the limited edition Belgian ale — made with juniper berries and dubbed “The End of History” — was also the costliest beer ever sold.

The squirrel bottles cost 700 pounds (1,000 dollars, 840 euros) each and the seven stoat bottles went for 500 pounds a pop.

All sold out within four hours of going on sale, BrewDog managing director James Watt told AFP.

Watt said the controversial drink was the last in a line of experimental brews, explaining: “For the final installment in the strong beer series, we wanted to create something epic, something monumental.”

He said there were no plans to come up with a beer to beat this record, insisting: “We’re quite happy at 55 percent.”

As for the taste, Watt described “The End of History” as a “complex” beer with a multitude of flavours including honey, mint and cinnamon.

He recommended sipping the drink “much like you would a malt whiskey”, served up in a spirit glass rather than a pint glass.

(Pass the squirrel opener dude! – Ed)

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WTF? – Playboy Magazine Tests 3-D Centrefold. Tissue Prices Skyrocket!

June 9th, 2010 Filed under: News/Calendar/Industry, WTF? by Editor in Chief

(No, you’re not going blind, it’s in 3-D!  That doesn’t explain your hairy palms though – Ed)

(Source – CBC News)

Playboy readers who can only imagine what it would look like if a centrefold jumped right off the page are getting new specs to help them see into Hef’s world.

The magazine’s June edition comes equipped with 3-D glasses. Now the toy that has kids dodging dragons, meatballs and tall blue aliens at the movies will help adults focus on what is, at first glance, a very blurry Playmate of the Year.

“What would people most like to see in 3-D?” asked Playboy founder Hugh Hefner. “Probably a naked lady.”

Hefner makes no secret of hoping to capitalize on the popularity of 3-D movies such as Avatar and How to Train Your Dragon, even as he makes no secret of not quite getting what all the fuss is about.

“I’m not a huge enthusiast of 3-D,” he said in a telephone interview. “I leave real life to go to the movies and 2-D is fine with me.”

If the thought of grown men sitting back in their recliners with a pair of 3-D glasses doesn’t quite say Playboy, it should be noted that a few months ago, the magazine put Marge Simpson — yes, the blue-haired animated mother of Bart — on the cover and in a two-page centrefold.

“In today’s print environment, you have to create newsstand events,” said Jimmy Jellinek, the editorial director of the Chicago-based magazine. “Marge Simpson was one of those.”

Playboy certainly must do something to get more people, especially younger people, to buy a magazine that has seen circulation plummet from 3.5 million in 2006 to 1.5 million today.

Jellinek said he hopes the issue featuring centrefold Hope Dworaczyk in 3-D also reminds people that for all the infatuation with the internet, there is nothing quite like having a magazine in your hands.

“People want things that last and have meaning,” he said.

The thought hadn’t occurred to Hefner. But, now that you mention it: “This particular picture is one example of how books and magazines are different [than computer images],” he said. “You can hold it in your hands, save them, and as Dad used to, put them under the mattress.”

READ MORE HERE!

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WTF? – Small Penis? Beware Airport Body Scanners!

May 10th, 2010 Filed under: News/Calendar/Industry, WTF? by Editor in Chief

Hands Up Pencil Dick!

(Source – The Smoking Gun)

A Transportation Security Administration screener is facing an assault rap after he allegedly beat a co-worker who joked about the size of the man’s genitalia after he walked through a security scanner. The May 4 confrontation involved Rolando Negrin, 44, and other TSA employees who had previously taken part in a training session at Miami International Airport, according to the Miami-Dade Police Department report. Negrin and his co-workers had been training with new “whole body image” machines–the controversial kind that provide very revealing images of a traveler–when Negrin walked through the scanner. “The X-ray revealed that [Negrin] has a small penis and co-workers made fun of him on a daily basis,” reported cops. Following his arrest, Negrin told police that he “could not take the jokes anymore and lost his mind.” After work Tuesday evening, Negrin confronted fellow TSA screener Hugo Osorno in an airport parking lot. Negrin wanted to “resolve a problem,” and get Osorno, 34, to “finally respect him.” Instead, Negrin allegedly pulled out a police baton and began striking Osorno, while demanding an apology. A witness told cops that Negrin told Osorno, in Spanish, “Get on your knees or I will kill you and you better apologize.” When Negrin, wearing his TSA uniform, arrived for work yesterday, he was arrested on an aggravated battery count and booked into the Miami-Dade lockup. Osorno, police reported, suffered “bruises and abrasions on his back and arms” during the attack.

(Fortunately, Osorno’s own tiny penis was to small to suffer any damage – Ed)

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Police force downtown liquor stores to close early

February 20th, 2010 Filed under: News/Calendar/Industry, WTF? by Editor in Chief

(The Vancouver Sun | Photo – Stuart Davis, PNG) – Vancouver Police closed downtown liquor stores at 7 p.m. Friday in a bid to curb the open consumption of liquor as huge crowds congregate in the city’s core to celebrate the 2010 Olympic Winter Games.

“The Olympic fans aren’t a problem for us, it’s those who are coming into the city exclusively to get drunk.” said Cst. Jana McGuinness said in a news release.

To help avoid a repeat of Friday’s incidents of public intoxication and the associated disorder, police asked the B.C. Liquor Control and Licensing Branch for assistance with a 7 p.m. closing time for liquor stores in the downtown area this evening, Jana said in a news release.

“The strategy behind this is to stop the supply of alcohol to the streets,” she said. “We are seeing people replenishing their stock at nearby liquor stores and then openly consuming the liquor in the streets.”

“We are encouraging people to enjoy the Olympic experience but to do so responsibly by leaving the alcohol at home” McGuinness said.Vancouver Police plan to boost their presence in the downtown core after unprecedented numbers of people surged into the city Friday night, with many of them openly drinking liquor or intoxicated in public.

READ MORE HERE

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WTF?: Former Larry Sanders Star Rip Torn charged with breaking into bank

January 31st, 2010 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(UPI) – Connecticut state police allege actor Elmore “Rip” Torn was intoxicated when he broke into a bank in Salisbury carrying a loaded revolver.

The Torrington (Conn.) Register Citizen said Saturday that Torn, 78, set off an alarm at a Litchfield Bancorp building when he allegedly forced entry into the site through a back window Friday night.

Police said in a release that officers responding to the alarm allegedly found Torn intoxicated and carrying a loaded revolver.

READ MORE HERE

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WTF?: DJ condemned for playing Van Halen’s “Jump” as woman leaps from bridge

January 18th, 2010 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(MailOnline) – A Radio DJ has been condemned by mental health charities after he played the song Jump as police were trying to talk down a suicidal woman from a motorway bridge. Steve Penk received a request from a listener for the hit Van Halen track after four lanes of the M60 were closed while police attempted to deal resolve the situation.

The controversial presenter told listeners on his breakfast show he was playing the song to ‘emphathise’ with frustrated drivers, but moments later the woman jumped from the 30ft bridge.

DJ Steve Penk played the Van Halen hit Jump to ‘empathise’ with motorists after the M60 was shut while police attempted to talk down a suicidal woman The 30-year-old woman suffered minor injuries, but mental heath charities branded his behaviour on 96.2FM The Revolution ‘in very poor taste’. Paul Farmer, chief executive of Mind, said: ‘Given the distressing circumstances, the decision to play “Jump” was highly insensitive and in very poor taste.

‘Media have a responsibility for their audience and jovialising such a situation could be fatal.

READ MORE HERE

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Jesus Christ, Not The Swine Flu!

November 12th, 2009 Filed under: WTF? by Editor in Chief

(Reuters) – An Italian inventor has combined faith and ingenuity to come up with a way to keep church traditions alive for the faithful without the fear of contracting swine flu — an electronic holy water dispenser.

The terracotta dispenser, used in the northern town of Fornaci di Briosco, functions like an automatic soap dispenser in public washrooms — a churchgoer waves his or her hand under a sensor and the machine spurts out holy water.

“It has been a bit of a novelty. People initially were a bit shocked by this technological innovation but then they welcomed it with great enthusiasm and joy. The members of this parish have got used to it,” said Father Pierangelo Motta.

READ MORE HERE

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Crackhead Rapper Boxing Month Continues: Coolio To Replace DMX in the ring

November 9th, 2009 Filed under: News/Calendar/Industry, WTF? by Editor in Chief

(HipHopWired) – DMX has finally come to grips with reality and officially pulled out of a scheduled mixed marital arts battle with fighter Eric Martinez. After learning that the fight would not be rigged in his favor, X made the wise decision to not participate in the ‘would be’ pummeling. In a final attempt to salvage their client’s dream, X’s manager sent out an addendum to the event promoters asking them to agree to a fake bout saying:

“Event Promoter and Management agree that [DMX] is scheduled to win Boxing Challenge. All parties agree this event has been scheduled to occur only in fun and that the artist involved is not a professional boxer.”

The event promoters did not agree to the addendum however and have recruited a new victim to take his place.

The heat is officially off X as Coolio’s stepping in to take over. That’s right, Coolio.

Coolio will step in the ring to see how he fares against Martinez on December 12 in Jefferson, Alabama.

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