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Live Review: Gwar w/ Devildriver, Cancer Bats and Legacy of Disorder
Monday, November 12th, 2012
Vogue Theatre

The best thing about a Gwar show is their uncanny ability to entice metalheads to wear white. What is usually a sea of black t-shirts with incomprehensible white or blood red logos becomes a throbbing soggy mass of humans flecked with the white get-ups of the die hard Gwar fans eager to be soaked in faux fluids of the flesh. But before I dive further into the silliest pit in modern metal, let me give some recognition to the other fellas on the Gwar “Fate or Chaos” Tour 2012.

Legacy of Disorder are a straight up old school metal outfit that are 80% headbang with just a hint of melody. Think Metallica with Corey Taylor on vocals. Solid, solid shit; many heads were banging. Cancer Bats, need I say more? These guys bring it and kill it every fucking time. This night was no exception. Liam Cormier is one of the most animated and intense front men in metal. Devildriver, while being good at what they do and getting folks to go ape shit on a regular basis, I just can’t get behind them. Dez is so horribly antagonistic it is nauseating. He regularly insults fans, picks fights with people and swears at his monitor technicians. Maybe the people he picked fights with were heckling him, but if they were, it’s pretty clear why they would. He is, how you say, obtuse? Perhaps there are folks in metal who have some perverse liking for verbal abuse, perhaps it enhances their rage fuelled moshpit experience? For those folks, Dez is their go-to guy.

And now… Gwar vs God!!! Over the years the self-proclaimed Scumdogs of the Universe have battled many fine foes and sprayed their liquids upon many adoring fans. But this time they took on the ultimate enemy, God Himself. The “Voice of God” makes threats and sends minions down to the stage in a vain attempt to destroy the mighty Gwar. But Gwar and their own minions, alongside long time comrade BoneSnapper the Cave Troll, make short work of the onslaught that comes their way as they ruthlessly rock their way through the show. BoneSnapper sounded uncannily similar to Bob & Doug McKenzie, eh? Whether this was a lark made especially for Canadian audiences or a staple of BoneSnapper’s character that I have overlooked, I cannot say. But the Canadian Cave Troll aided Oderus and the gang in fending off the attacks of a Father of the Cloth, Hitler, Jesus, and Super Cyborg Jesus, before God finally decided to manifest himself into a physical form and destroy them himself. At this point, Gwar have beaten each adversary using some of the most inventive spectacles of gore yet, so the idea of God taking physical form is damned exciting. However, God then announces that he doesn’t exist. Gwar agrees and they simply tell everyone to drink more beer and rock out. Then they kill Barack Obama.

I won’t tell you whether or not God eventually comes down, because I think that if you are willing to contemplate Gwar’s perspective on the existence or non-existence of an omniscient deity, then you were or will be at their show anyways! But I wish they wouldn’t “play God” and monopolize the sale of bottled water at their shows, forcing everyone to buy only “Gwater” at an exorbitantly inflated price.


By: Ninjoelspy


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