ABOVE: Major Toker getting busy on the 1′s and 2′s: 1=lighter, 2= pipe

(Photo - Jamie Sands)

Live Review – Major Lazer
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
The Commodore Ballroom, Vancouver BC

“Major Lameness”  is more like it.  I don’t know (or care) who the fuck didn’t make it across the border, but when I arrived, it was to find about a hundred hipsters dancing spastically on stage to bad house music.  With nothing more than a little dancehall and surf rock thrown in to spice things up, this was clearly a DJ “show” designed to milk these ignorant young fools out of more of their trust fund money, by presenting them with the lowest common denominator of poorly mashed up sounds.

With the “Major” himself being nothing more than the oversized cartoon image of a Jamaican Commando (or something like that…) this festival of cultural appropriation was exactly the kind of pallid bullshit that can be found at any Granville street DJ night, so why bother paying thirty bucks to see a bogus “name” DJ like Diplo scratch his nuts to the beat?  Add to this the fact that the “set” was over by midnight and there should have been a full on riot.

Fortunately, the polite and orderly audience were already yawning before the last beat dropped, and the ‘roid rage meathead security only had to stand menacingly to kill any last remnant of a good time, while the sheep wandered out of the shearing pen into the streets.

By Dave “Corvid” McCallum

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